Liberation
Your dog shits all over your yard and you’re its pathetic fucking slave.
Why choose us
Keeping your yard clean for as little as $20 a week
Affordable pricing — Cheaper than divorce court and smells better too.
No more scooping — Delegate the work to someone lesser than you.
Reliable weekly service — We never miss a pickup. Even when you're blacked out face-down in the living room.
A briefing for the confused
You really need this explained?
Reliable Service
We show up on schedule and make sure your yard stays clean week after week.
Affordable Pricing
Simple, transparent plans starting at just $20 per week with no hidden fees.
Pet-Friendly Approach
We care about your pets and always prioritize their safety and comfort during visits.
Flexible Scheduling
Choose a service frequency that fits your household, whether weekly or more often.
Satisfaction Guarenteed
If something isn't right, we'll work quickly to make it right.
More Time for What Matters
Spend less time scooping and more time enjoying your yard with family and pets.
Services
Full-Service Pet Shit Removal
How it works
Simple steps to enjoy a cleaner shit-free yard
Stop touching shit
What are you? A shit slave who acts upper class while knuckling your dog's ass discharge?
Hire professionals
We get paid to wrist-fuck your yard’s shit infestation every week while you do literally nothing.
Resume slowly killing yourself
Stare at your phone, drink warm beer, and slowly decay in your own yard without smelling like diarrhea.
FAQ
Got Questions? We've Got Answers
1
Can't I just do it myself?
You can also perform your own vasectomy.
2
Is this what my ancestors fought for?
3
Why does my dog do this?
4
What happened to human progress?
5
Is society collapsing?
Get in touch with our pet shit experts
Keeping your yard clean, safe, and enjoyable.